WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU

Chris Brotherton, a successful fashion photographer, lived with his brain tumour for twelve years. At 46, he was given just four months to live. We watch the remaining eight months. His love for Annette, his wife and their ten year old son Tristan. And how each copes and comes to terms with unbearable tragedy. Gentle humour, quiet courage, and undying love shine through. And because it is a film of unusual beauty and sensitivity, it conveys the mysterious stillness that can accompany and surround a dying person. The loving care, professionalism, and positive attitude of the Trinity Hospice staff exemplify the hospice philosophy. And the dignity it accords death.

 

We are introduced to Tristan early in the film, and the importance for Tristan of being encouraged to talk about his feelings before his father dies, and to positively remember him afterwards. The film gives important pointers to agencies and professionals who are offering or developing bereavement support services, in emphasizing the crucial importance of helping children and families both prepare for and understand what is happening when a loved one is dying. It is the high degree of mutual support that, at various times, all three family members are able to offer to each other which allows them to grieve and come to terms with the inevitable in such a dignified and positive way.

Derek Jones,  Project Leader, Barnados Child Bereavement & Planning

 

This extraordinary video follows Chrisís increasing cognitive impairment and addresses the physical problems associated with the brain tumour. Care and support from the staff of Trinity Hospice play a central role in helping the family to adjust to the situation. The importance of a positive attitude is maintained throughout. Tristanís perspective on the events surrounding his fatherís illness, disability and death, provide the most valuable insight into how this ten year old coped. His sense of loneliness and sadness is conveyed clearly, although the video highlights his role in supporting both his parents. 

Chris and Annette hoped to help others in a similar position. They succeed in offering many important insights and provide a very personal, open, and honest account. The thoughts and feelings of each individual are the core of this unique programme. It may be used to address the role of denial, avoidance and hope, as positive ways that children cope with bereavement and loss. Other constructive ways of helping children are covered. Encouragement to talk about death, sharing feelings of sadness and grief, reassurance that their bereaved parents can cope, allowing the child to provide comfort and support to his or her parents. And attendance and involvement at the funeral service. This video is highly recommended to those involved in palliative care, bereavement support, and counselling. And will be of special interest to teachers and parents.

Robert Tunmore,  Senior Tutor of Psychiatric Nursing, The Institute of Psychiatry

 

The most remarkable programme I have seen on terminal illness, dealing as it does with the final months of a relatively young man; and the effect on his wife and - even more revealingly - his ten year old son. As someone directly involved in similar cases every week, I think this video of immense value to doctors, nurses, and palliative care teams. Also to selected relatives. A copy is in our resource department for loan to relatives of terminally ill patients.

Professor Dalgleish

 

BBC     50 mins     £16.95 (inc p&p)          To ORDER click here

 

THE CARE BUSINESS

The frequently very painful decision of having to leave our home for a residential care home will face many of us. Before then most will help a parent, relative, or friend attempt to find a home with the right environment and level of support. Cecil (86) Doris (79) and Leonard (80ís) try coming to terms with their situations. And make a choice. Each expresses fears and misgivings shared by many elderly people.

 

Makes an ideal awareness-raising aid for all concerned with the care and support of older people. And provides an insight into their thinking at a particularly vulnerable time in their lives; and what for them, constitutes the ideal place to live out their last years. It should also be essential viewing for every son and daughter.

The Abbeyfield Society

 

Will help carers and families understand the difficulties, prejudices and stubbornness which may surround coping with disability.

St John Ambulance

 

Highlights the emotional problems faced by going into residential care and sheltered housing. It provides excellent training material for care staff. And promotes understanding of the anxieties and sadness felt by so many people, as well as stressing the advantages of receiving full time care.

Parkinsonís Disease Society

 

Many elderly people and their families put off the decision to go into residential or nursing care, whilst becoming increasingly infirm. The benefits of increased care and support in a residential or care home may only be fully realised after a painful or dangerous experience. Meanwhile the strain on carers increases. This video is, to my knowledge, unique in the way it conveys many of the key issues directly and sympathetically.

Dr Stephen Deas,  General Practioner

 

CHANNEL 4     50 mins     £16.95 (inc p&p)          To ORDER click here

 

NO GREAT TRAUMA?

I intend to use this video to raise offendersí consciousness of victim-related issues. The sex offenders who have watched it have been united in saying that this particular victimís account forced them to confront many issues within their own offending behaviour that either they had not previously considered, or had tried not to think about.

The video had much potential value in work on victim issues. But there are other points highlighted which would be useful discussion triggers in work with other sex offenders and male offenders in general. It is not uncommon for a burglary to escalate into a sexual offence. Those viewing the video could all relate this escalation to incidents within their own offending behaviour. Almost all considered the emotional impact of the abuse more damaging in its consequences than the physical injuries sustained by the victim. Offenders have a well known tendency to Ďminimiseí the consequences of their behaviour or to misattribute responsibility for it. The circumstances of the rape detailed allow for no such evasion. Everyone felt that the video was helpful, if on occasion painful to watch. Interestingly, they all considered the subsequent sentences too lenient.

I also intend using the video with other groups of prisoners. It makes many valuable points about the consequences of rape and other sexual assaults. And it raises important issues about gender and power. Given the response of sex offenders, and the fact that to my knowledge, there is no other video presenting a rape victimís physical and emotional ordeal so movingly, and in such depth, I am convinced that in effectively forcing offenders to confront the consequences of their actions, it has the potential, as part of a structured programme, to prevent some from re-offending and others from committing rape.

I strongly recommend this excellent video. Jill Seward movingly portrays the trauma many survivors of rape experience, the ordeal of the medical examination and of appearing before your attackers in court. She lays bare the inadequacies of the legal system and the lack of understanding many survivors face. It is an invaluable training aid for medical and support services such as rape crisis, victim support, nurse training - as well as essential viewing for lawyers and police. Additionally, Jillís courage in speaking out will give hope to many women who have unjustly felt ashamed and blamed themselves for their trauma.

Professor Sue Lees,  author of ĎGetting Away with Rapeí

 

Provides a very honest and moving account of the traumas surrounding rape, including those caused by the legal system itself. It would be useful for anyone supporting women who have been raped, as it illustrates the reality of the experience. It is also likely to be of positive benefit to women who have been raped, providing hope and proof that healing is possible.

 

Rape and Sexual Support Centre

 

BBC     40 mins     £16.95 (inc p&p)          To ORDER click here